No country for (dirty) old men

At the risk of coming across as sleazy, Vietnamese women are xinh, đẹp, and dễ thương (beautiful, pretty and cute).

It is also a young country. Most everyone seems to be under 30 years of age. And therein lies the problem for single Western men who are a bit more mature in years. How do you find a singleton your own age to date?

Beautiful Vietnamese women in traditional ao dai

Initially, it is not completely unpleasant dating women half your age (25 plus). But, as a fellow separated expat told Hà Nội Scribbles, it can be slightly off-putting when you discover your girlfriend is, in fact, 25 years old, only four years older than your eldest daughter back home in the UK.

“And they then inform you, without a trace of concern, that you are the same age as their father. It does feel a bit uncomfortable I can assure you,” he added.

Unlike in the West, age here seems not to be such a huge issue. Even 20 plus years of an age gap is not insurmountable so long as you are honest from the outset. After a while, though, you discover that you have widely different reference points even taking culture into account. Maybe that’s why the dating cut off point is supposedly half your age plus seven years.

This did get me wondering how on earth do you meet Vietnamese women in the 35-50 year age group? Most of this vintage are married, work long hours and have children or even grandchildren in tow.

There does, however, have to be a segment of women in this age bracket that are single. But where do you find them? The default answer is normally your existing Vietnamese friends unfortunately. They will, in a well meaning way, constantly match make you with their divorced/widowed cousin or sister.

But could there be a convincing case for a Tinder lookalike for old gits like me? Or is more conventional online dating the answer?

Neither feels particularly appealing. Nor will the comments this post is probably going to attract. To be honest I did have some misgivings about this article. Publish and be damned as they say.

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7 thoughts on “No country for (dirty) old men

  1. Fortunately most Vietnamese women are quite open to dating older men. As they equate age with more experiences and higher material status. Having said that, they also tend to expect more things from dating older men, the prospect of getting married for example, especially from Western men. I think as long as you’re aware of this and be open and honest (as it’s often recommended in dating anyway) it’ll be a pleasant and interesting experience. Vietnamese women are beautiful, don’t look like they will ever age and are very caring :P.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I would say that this is the symptom of growing up, maturing and then moving to another country. Maybe you did realize that there is not a lot of ways for expats to interact with locals unless you moved there when you were very young (like when you were 20′ something). Consequently, you didn’t ”age” with these ladies: they have very different life experiences, different habits and different expectations in life.

    Anyway, I think that you will be able to pass through this. But I could still recommend you Vietnamcupid.com if you want to try your chance online.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Things move on… | Hà Nội Scribbles

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