Not sing dep

What level of self delusion does it take to get up on stage and sing when you can’t carry a tune in a bucket?

The thought crossed my mind recently when I found myself in a bar at 5:30pm on a school night.

Karaoke singers in Ha Noi, Viet Nam

Stick to karaoke like these guys

The band were clearly warming up when their singer appeared; a guy in his mid to late thirties that I immediately pegged as an off duty financial adviser. He was a shiny smart casual dresser that was trying too hard. On his feet were a pair of incongruous light blue sneakers his mother bought him in M&S.

I wasn’t alone in thinking ‘Who the hell told this chap he could sing?’ He got the benefit of the doubt on the first song. But subsequent ‘numbers’ confirmed his singing was as flat as a pancake.

Now, if this had been some late drunken karaoke session no one would have noticed. In the cold light of a sober Wednesday evening it was excruciating. At one point even I, who only ever sings after a few drinks at the karaoke, began to fancy my chances of upstaging him.

Clearly, this would have no impact whatsoever. He may well be suffering from the same psychological disorder that is suffered by countless talent show contestants in the UK: an unshakeable belief in their singing talent. Unfortunately, there is no cure for this.

I am the last person who should be making snap judgements. I have had people pontificate on my entire world view in the basis of a 400 word blog posting. On this occasion, though, I have the full use of my hearing on which to judge if a song is being butchered or not.

Leaving aside all that, it does rather beg the question what the other band members were thinking letting him get near a microphone in the first place?

We may never know. Ultimately no one got hurt. Apart from a few ears and the feelings of various leading musical artistes.

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