Future telly?

Have you ever wondered what TV programmes might be like in a hundred years?

I think I may have an inkling.

Television screen close up

Antique shows will still be on the go. Members of the public will turn up at a community centre to queue and get their collectibles scrutinized and valued by experts.

It might go something like this:

Expert: Hello there. And what have you brought us today?

Member of the Public: I have this. It was my great grandfather’s originally. And it’s been passed down to me. I am not entirely sure, but I think it may be an i-Phone.

Expert: Let’s have a look then. Ah, yes. It’s an Apple i-Phone alright and still in its original packaging, so that a big plus.

(Expert fumbles open the box and takes out the i-Phone.)

Apple I-Phone future collectible antique

Expert: Oh, that’s a nice example. It’s a genuine one, not a replica. You can tell that by holding it up to the light. There’s a number of scratches on the screen. Luckily, this one doesn’t have a cracked screen. You see that a lot with most i-Phones you come across. But this one is intact, so that’s good news.

Member of the Public: And what’s this thing? (Holding up the charger cable)

Expert: That’s the charger cable. This end went in here. And the other end, the USB end, went into a laptop or mains adapter to top up the internal battery with electricity. It’s not an Apple charger cable I’m afraid. It’s an after market replacement but that’s very common. The charger cables were notoriously brittle and often got lost. It’s very, very rare that you will see an i-Phone nowadays with the original manufacturer’s equipment. Here’s the Apple symbol on the back, see.

Now let’s find out what else we have in here. (continues to unpack the i-Phone box)

Camera cuts to Member of the Public looking on expectantly

Expert: Headphones. Good. That’s another bonus. And they are original too.

Member of the Public: Yes, my great grandfather looked after his possessions.

Expert: Oh, my word! This is great. You hardly ever see these. In fact, this is the first one I have ever seen.

Member of the Public: What is it?
(He squints at the object the Expert is holding up to the camera)

Expert: It’s the key to open a secret compartment!

Member of the Public: Really?

Expert: Yes. This end goes into this little hole here on the side. And voila! Out pops the SIM card.

Member of the Public: Well, I never…How much is it all worth then?

Expert: Well, let me see. That’s a tricky one. The screen is scratched so that attests to it being an original i-Phone, not a replica. There’s no cracking – that’s good – but you don’t have the original charger cable. On the other hand, the lack of the charger cable is more than outweighed by the presence of the very, very rare SIM card removal tool. Normally, people would lose them within a week and use a straightened out paper clip instead.

Er, um. I am rather on the spot here aren’t I? Okay, I would value this – and I am being conservative here – at around fifteen thousand dollar roubles.

Member of the Public: Oh, wow! I wasn’t expecting that,

Expert: On a good day at auction, with the right people in the room, Apple antique collectors, it could reach as much as twenty five thousand dollar roubles.

Member of the Public: Thank you so much. And thank you great grandfather.

Camera cuts away to presenter.

Presenter: So that’s one happy chap proving that an Apple a day really is good for your health…your financial health. Tee hee…Now, let’s see what other treasures the good people of MiddleChester Ville have brought with them today.


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