Stuff that bugs me, part 96 of an ongoing series. Mainly Facebook, people and Vietnamese traffic to be honest, so expect strong language from the start and throughout.
1) When you finish typing, click for a spellcheck, and then it asks if you want to continue checking from the beginning of the document. Ffs, yes.
2) People who prefix their completely on topic post to a Facebook group with the words, “Please delete if not appropriate.”
3) People who smugly reply about searching on Google when someone asks a question on Facebook. If you can’t offer a helpful answer, just shut the fuck up.
4) People, usually women, who consistently publish whiny, cryptic relationship posts on Facebook. Who gives a fuck? He was Mr Wonderful a few weeks ago, what happened? At least gives us some meat to chew on. Or simply move on without cluttering up Facebook with your inane romantic dramas.
5) Cyclists who creep up silently as you cross the road then give you a mouthful for being in their way. One hundred per cent Tay. Trying getting a bell, by the way.
6) Being forced to walk in the road because the pavement (sidewalk) is completely blocked by parked motorbikes. Motorcyclists expecting me to get out of their way when they speed along the pavement to dodge a traffic jam.
7) Motorcyclists that overshoot the stop line and park on a pedestrian crossing when the lights change to red thereby forcing me to walk into the path of moving vehicles. I have actually stopped doing that as far as possible and just wade through them wielding an imaginary machete while scowling, swearing and gesticulating like the grumpy old man that I am.
8) Loud Americans who seem to fill the entire restaurant with their chatter by using their outdoor voices indoors. Again, shut the fuck up. Like totally. I am really not interested in what you are saying to your bestest buddy. Dial it down by six notches at least.
9) People who poke or pat my belly for luck like I am fat Buddha. I may be on the chunky side but I can go on a diet. You will always be short.
10) Expecting an appointment to be Vietnamese time or day-elastic, only to receive a text when you are halfway across the city asking where you are because neither of you confirmed earlier on. Sorry, my bad. Next time.